challenges and difficulties
Hillman doubts his own intelligence and mental capacities, and he may work very hard at studies in order to compensate for this. Chris is often overly serious and disinterested in light or superficial conversation. Spontaneous communication, social give-and-take, and making small talk are likely to be difficult for him.
His childhood or his relationships with his parents was restrictive, unloving, or unhappy in ways that may prevent Chris from allowing other people to get close to him in later life. Chris Hillman felt deprived in some manner, whether or not he actually was deprived in some way. Emotional separations or repression of his needs and feelings may typify his early life, at least as Hillman remembers it. Forgiving his parents and/or letting go of any resentments he has about the limitations that he experienced early in his life is crucial. Also, Chris Hillman needs to build his own solid foundation, and investing time and energy into his home, domestic relationships, and inner life can help Chris accomplish this.
He is serious and sincere about his interests, does not accept superficial answers and is not easily placated. Chris wants his inspirations to become reality and he does not mind upsetting a few apple carts in the process. Chris Hillman becomes impatient with others for being hesitant to implement new ideas and take action, and his occasional outbreaks of brusque, insensitive behavior often do more harm than good.
His disposition is somewhat melancholic and Chris Hillman could have a rather pessimistic outlook. Chris has an inner need to be alone and to deeply meditate on his thoughts. Chris Hillman takes life seriously and may have been taught early on to learn from his mistakes.
He is quite cool and reserved in matters of love relationships and tends to hold back his inclination for love. Somewhat inhibited in regard to relationships, Chris Hillman is inclined to feel that he is better off staying by himself.
He is susceptible to deception by others and may encounter people who dissuade him from his objectives and try to use his vulnerability to their advantage. Chris Hillman should watch his relationships very carefully so he will not get seriously hurt or disappointed.
Now we will discuss patterns of behavior which Chris Hillman instinctively and habitually reverts to when under stress - a mostly subconscious process that he is apt to over indulge in because it is so familiar and hence easy for him. The direction Chris Hillman needs to follow in order to develop balance, greater awareness, and wholeness is also described.
Chris Hillman's path lies in his development as an individual, the discovery of his own strengths and joys, the capacity to express his uniqueness and to stand out in a crowd. This involves becoming a leader, even though Hillman's instinct is actually to be "one of the Indians" rather than the "chief". When under stress Chris Hillman is apt to seek safety in numbers, to go along with the group. Also, he may believe that striving to do his personal best and to excel is wrong or selfish, but Chris should let go of this notion. Finding his own center and doing what gives him delight and energy is the most worthwhile contribution Chris Hillman can offer the world at large.
It is in his marriage and other intimate, one-to-one relationships that he is most likely to wrestle with these issues. He may see the qualities that he needs to develop more fully (described above) in his partner. It is important for Chris Hillman to recognize, appreciate, and listen to the people in his life who express such attributes, as well as to develop them himself. Chris Hillman has to put energy and attention into learning about others, and about himself through others.
His nature is a bit restless and unpredictable and because of this, others may see Chris as somewhat unstable. Chris Hillman is inclined to involve himself with unusual enterprises and tends to become overly excited in the presence of other people.
Chris Hillman tends to be a bit too idealistic and may place too much hope on his relationships, resulting in frequent disappointments. Chris could be attracted to naive people, but some of his contacts also may turn out to be swindlers.
Astrological factors in this Astro Profile section:
Saturn in Gemini
Saturn in 4th house
Saturn Conjunct Uranus
Saturn Opposition Mercury/MC
Saturn Opposition Venus/MC
Saturn Opposition Neptune/Asc.
N. Node in Leo
N. Node in 7th house
N. Node Conjunct Mars/Uranus
N. Node Conjunct Jupiter/Neptune